I recorded a two part episode of my podcast Scharpening the Mind on the subject of Insecurity. For both of these episodes I was joined by my wonderful co-host and domestic partner Alicia Marley. Sitting down and recording with her was really great.
You can listen to it here:
Insecurity Part One
Insecurity Part Two
I wanted to write on the subject a little as well.
We usually don’t see ourselves clearly.
We often spend time either over or under-estimating ourselves. Sometimes we tend to either think we’re great and we can’t possibly be causing our own problems, that we can’t be wrong in any conflict, that nothing is our fault. Other times it’s the opposite. We tend to think of ourselves as failures. We think other people are cooler or more attractive or more valuable than we are. It’s rare for us to have a clear picture of ourselves.
Insecurity comes from that under-estimation. That’s what I’m writing about now. Insecurity is a powerful force in many of our lives. I think it’s one of those things that is a fundamental part of the human condition. Even people that seem to have it all together are insecure at times. I’m not even sure if people that seem to have it all together are ANY less insecure than the rest of us, really.
I’m insecure about all sorts of things. I don’t like the way my belly sticks out. I think I should be making more money.
I sometimes wonder if I should be leading my own meditation events. I sometimes have these questions that come into my mind. “Why do you think people want this?” “Aren’t there plenty of places people can go for meditation in Kansas City?”
And the truth is I’m just inspired to share this practice, sharing it doesn’t cost me anything but my time, and if I can just encourage one person…that’s enough.
The other question that comes to mind sometimes is “Why start your own? Why not just teach in someone else’s community?”
And I guess I have some sort of insecurity around that too. I’m doing this because I don’t think anyone wants me to teach in their community. I would if they asked.
Anyway, I said all that so I could introduce you to the concept of Brain Weasels. I talked about this in the podcasts, but thought I’d show you the definition.
From Urban Dictionary Brain Weasels are:
Intrusive thoughts of self-doubt and despair, often associated with depression or anxiety, that crawl into your brain and make it hard to focus on other things.
These are those voices that show up in our heads to tell us we’ll never succeed, or that we’re worthless, or not good enough. They have plenty of awful things to say and sometimes it seems like they’re talking a lot.
I think we all have this experience. I don’t think we can make the brain weasels go away, but I do think we can make them stop being so loud. When our attention is fractured, when we’re not mindful of our experience, when we are spending a lot of time and energy carrying our baggage and neuroses…it’s really easy for those brain weasels to be loud and obnoxious.
That’s where our meditation training comes in. When we’re learning how to focus and how to see things clearly we’re also learning how to make those voices stop being so loud.
The truth is that we’re creating those voices. They don’t come from nowhere. They come from us. And because of that, we can learn to stop creating them so much. That’s not to say it’s easy. It’s not.
When we listen to these voices we are getting in our own way. They make it more difficult for us to have a sense of well-being. Part of our meditation training is about learning how to stop getting in our own way all the time. This is just one aspect of that, but I think it’s one that everyone understands and can relate to.
How do we meditate?
Come see me and I’ll show you.
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Scharpening The Mind